Thursday, March 25, 2021

Episode #41 - Security Shit Show Jeopardy!

You think you know your shit?

Want to prove it? Now's your chance.

We're doing our first episode of  Security Shit Show Jeopardy! 

Here's what tonight's episode looks like:

  • I'm (Evan) going to be the Security Shit Show version of Alex Trebek, meaning I'll be the game show host. Nobody can do Alex Trebek justice because he was a truly unique, one of a kind, human being.
  • We're going to choose three contestants from our audience. We'll choose contestants by posting a question in the Security Shit Show chat. The first three people to answer correctly will become our contestants.
  • We'll invite the contestants to join us in our private web conference (where Chris, Ryan, and I do our shit) and ask themselves to tell us a little about them.
  • Then we'll play the first game of Security Shit Show Jeopardy (you know, the way they play it on the television).
  • While I'm playing host, Chris and Ryan will heckle. We might talk some smack about the clue and/or answer too.
  • The winner of the first game becomes our champion. The champion plays on, the losers sit.
  • Then we'll do it all over again, game number two.

Champions get a Security Shit Show shirt and their name listed on the Security Shit Show Jeopardy Cham Peons Board.

Why are we doing this?

Because it's Thursday fucking night, and I want to have fun. This WILL BE FUN dammit! If it's not fun, it's because YOU'RE not fun. Blame yourself.

If there are technical issues related to the game...

WTF am I talking about? There won't be any issues! 

Let's get on with it...

Join us tonight, LIVE at 2200 CDT. Bring your thinking cap if you intend to play. Bring your drink(s) if you plan to be entertained (or to play I guess). See you there!

Thursday, March 18, 2021

Episode #40 - Simplify, then add lightness…

The late Colin Chapman, founder of Lotus eschewed the pursuit of horsepower in favor of lightness combined with better handling across his road and race vehicles.



That courage to buck the trend resulted in numerous accolades on both sides of the Atlantic.

It is that ethos our industry should once again embrace.

Simplify:
The interfaces, the barriers to entry, the integration, deployment and overall management of the plethora of technology we eagerly buy, deploy, and then complain about.

Lightness:
Adding power is great if you are going in a straight line, however, leave the power alone, remove the complexity, and unnecessary features (the rule of 90%) and reduce the amount of time you have to fettle over the technology.

  • How well do your tools integrate?
  • How much unnecessary overlap do you have?
  • How much of that tool do you REALLY use?
  • How many hands does it take to run?
  • Do you maintain it?
  • Etc.
Start measuring vendors, technologies and PEOPLE by how well they help you simplify, then that should add some lightness across the board.

Join Evan Francen, Ryan Cloutier, Rachel Arnold and I as we unpack this tonight on the Shit Show

‘all for now
Chris

Thursday, March 4, 2021

Episode #38 - The Tool Fool

A fool is a person who acts unwisely or imprudently. A Tool Fool is someone who unwisely or imprudently loves tools. They don’t necessarily love the tools they have; they just love tools. The more tools, the better. 

Don’t be offended. We’re all fools from time to time. When it comes to our information security, we do the best we know how. We don’t intentionally act the fool, but when it comes to our tools, too many of us are the fool. 

Don’t be the Tool Fool!

Here’s the top 10 things about the Tool Fool:

  1. Brags about their tools, but they don’t know how to use them.
  2. Brags about a big budget, but they can’t justify it.
  3. Thinks “tool first” instead of a “needs first”.
  4. Thinks tools fix process.
  5. Thinks tools makes problems easier to solve.
  6. Likes easy but confuses “easy” with “simple”.
  7. Has tools they don’t know they have.
  8. Advocates for tools because fools like company.
  9. Oblivious to they’re most significant risks.
  10. Knows how to use some of their tools but won’t to use them well*.

The Tool Fool costs the organization more than they know. Tool Fools waste money on tools they don’t need, don’t understand, and/or can’t use. The Tool Fool can convince themselves that their tools will keep them secure when the opposite is true. Worst yet, the Tool Fool’s work has convinced management of the same.

The Tool Fool has a false sense of security. The Tool Fool makes security worse.

The Tool Fool will be the topic for this Thursday’s Security Shit Show with Chris, Evan, and Ryan. Be sure to catch the show LIVE on YouTube at 10pm/2200 CST!

*This is relevant to a dialog between Senator Wyden (D-OR) and witnesses (Kevin Mandia, Sudhakar Ramakrishna, Brad Smith, and George Kurtz) in the recent open hearing, “Hearing on the Hack of U.S. Networks by a Foreign Adversary” before the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee (2/23). This particular exchange happens at 1:22:08 in the recording here, and has been transcribed here.

Episode #43 - Killed My Grandma (updated for primetime)...

 NOTE: #ShitShow topic NOT my Grandma in Real Life before anyone gets worried! Annually, there are anywhere from 22,000 to 250,000 cases of ...